Waking up & saying @%&^)^!!!

I had committed the most sinful of sins a parent can commit. I fell asleep with Dayne in the bed and now he was falling out as I rolled over. I reach out to grab him, my hands hitting the floor to cushion his fall, my heart in my throat. I open my eyes and....I'm half out of bed, frantically searching the floor for Dayne when I realize, thanks to our monitor, he's safely upstairs. In his crib. Where he's been all night.

That's the THIRD time that night I've done it, I wake up in a panic thinking Dayne is in the bed with us.

I slam into Jason thinking he's rolled over on him, I sit straight up and pat the comforter around me and lately, I dive bomb to the floor. I have been having these dreams since we brought Dayne home. SIX MONTHS AGO!

At first when I woke up Jason would wake up with a start as well and help me search until I finally woke up enough to realize Dayne was happily snoozing in his bassinet. After a few weeks of this, Jason would tell me a few choice words when I would do it, I would sheepishly apologize and fall back asleep. Lately, I've been having a few choice words myself. Our cat will snuggle in with me at night and when she leaps out of bed I have woken to find myself struggling with her because I think it's Dayne falling and not our cat wanting to escape her crazy owner.

I wake up and am embarrassed! I have no idea why or where these night terrors are coming from. Last night I woke up and swore at myself! I don't know if I'm just sleeping lightly and something causes me to wake up with the idea that Dayne is in trouble. Dayne has never fallen asleep in bed with us and fallen out. Sometimes we do bring him to bed when he starts rustling around on weekends around 6:30.

Most of the time he falls back asleep between us and I'm drifting in and out of sleep. We're usually awoken from those extra minutes from Dayne slapping us and he rolls around in his sleep. I hate waking up in a panic several times a night for no good reason. My sister is currently expecting her first child and asked me when the crazy dreams go away. When I told her never, her face fell. Should I have lied and told her that as soon as she pops that baby out life resumes it's normal programming? Nah, even that's too mean for the "big sister tortures little sister" card. So moms - am I alone? Does this go away? What the heck is going on?!